"Wow, I'm so surprised with how open you guys are about your adoption process."
"Oh, you're adopting... why? Can't have your own kids?"
"Why are you adopting?"
"Have you tried other methods to conceive?"
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We have come to the realization that there is some kind of negative stigmatization associated with "adoption" and we do not understand why it is such a taboo subject. The inability for a woman to have a child or a couple's infertilty is perceived as a terrible thing in our society. Our world is evolving everyday and some of our cultural and social beliefs should be re-examined. With a negative stigma, it is no wonder adoption is kept a secret and hardly considered by many couples.
The biggest question is, what is so wrong about adoption? The issue with childlessness.
do issues around childlessness
We have discussed this taboo with close friends (to clarify, they are truly supportive and very excited with our adoption) and there is a sense of "great importance" with family name and heritage being passed on from generation to generation... but, there are an estimated 153 million orphans out there waiting for a family. An adoption shouldn't be labeled as a "last resort" because of the inability of having children. Brian and I perceive this journey as a new path in our lives and that a child out there is destined to be with us. Every child needs love. Every child deserves love.
We are embracing our whole adoption experience. We are open with our adoption journey for two major reasons: for one, to share our awesome experience! This process is the same as pregnancy... like when our dream gets closer to coming true, our heart grows and grows with each step of the way. Secondly, to educate others who are curious about the adoption process. This is a win-win situation for us. We even got some people coming to us expressing their positive, genuine questions regarding the adoption process. Some women came up to Brooke expressing their frustrations that they felt alone in their struggles with conceiving and had no one else to talk about the idea of adopting. We think it's important to share that no one is alone in this process and that they should be able to discuss about adoption without feeling that adoption shouldn't be discussed openly. We are up for a genuine discussion. We certainly have faced some interesting questions from our "acquaintances"... we expected to face personal questions along the way- but there are also those who should learn the do's and don'ts about asking.
So, here we are blogging about this issue. An adoption isn't commonly talked about. Not everyone can relate to the adoption experience. We get it. We would be lying if we said that it has been a smooth, perfect ride for us. In fact it has been an emotional roller coaster for us. However, our support for each other has kept us going and that is the most important. :)
An update about our first home study interview last Thursday, it went well! It was a very casual interview. We met up at a local coffee shop for our couples interview with our social worker, Leslie. We will have another meeting on November 1st, where we'll do our individual interviews and home inspection. Child-proofing .. or something close to it! Our niece, Alia, definitely helped with the child proofing part so there's a little left to do. :) We also need to get most of our paperwork done by then. We've arranged to have doctor appointments next week to get our medical paperwork signed and verify that we are in good health. Financial documents need to put together, as well. We, seriously, cannot wait to wrap up our home study! It has been going rather quicker than anticipated! Yay!
oxox,
Brooke & Brian
we
find out that adoption is such a big deal after all, especially in our
society. So why is adoption a big deal? Why is such a taboo? Why do
issues around childlessness come to define a woman’s position in her
family and even her self-esteem? The inability of a woman to have a
child is seen as a terrible thing in our society. - See more at:
http://www.genevieveng.com/adoption-a-taboo-for-our-times/#sthash.9HHJLzs1.dpuf
we
find out that adoption is such a big deal after all, especially in our
society. So why is adoption a big deal? Why is such a taboo? Why do
issues around childlessness come to define a woman’s position in her
family and even her self-esteem? The inability of a woman to have a
child is seen as a terrible thing in our society. - See more at:
http://www.genevieveng.com/adoption-a-taboo-for-our-times/#sthash.9HHJLzs1.dpuf
we
find out that adoption is such a big deal after all, especially in our
society. So why is adoption a big deal? Why is such a taboo? Why do
issues around childlessness come to define a woman’s position in her
family and even her self-esteem? The inability of a woman to have a
child is seen as a terrible thing in our society. - See more at:
http://www.genevieveng.com/adoption-a-taboo-for-our-times/#sthash.9HHJLzs1.dpuf
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